For DeForest Buckner, every day is cherished after nearly losing his father at 13

Indianapolis Colts defensive tackle DeForest Buckner thinks the world of his father, George. The two share a special bond that’s withstood multiple trials and tribulations, including a nearly fatal motorcycle accident in 2007 that left George bloodied and broken with DeForest wondering if he’d have to grow up as a 13-year-old without a father.

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George spent six months in a medically induced coma before waking up to a life that would never be the same. Despite this tragic incident, which forced George to use a wheelchair and walker, it’s only strengthened DeForest’s love and respect for the man who taught him so much.

In honor of Father’s Day, DeForest spoke to The Athletic about George, giving a first-person account of their close-knit relationship.

(Editor’s note: The following has been lightly edited for clarity and brevity.)

My dad means everything to me, and he taught me so much about being a man that I understand better now that I’m older.

Growing up in Hawaii, my mom used to work in the Army as a contract specialist. Whenever there was a crisis or a hurricane somewhere, she would go help in those areas, and she’d be gone for extended periods of time — sometimes a month, two weeks or a week or so. Every time my mom would leave town, my dad would have all three of us: me, my younger brother and my older sister.

I still remember to this day that he’d take us to do fun things, just so we could be together. We had this place back home in Hawaii called Ice Palace; he’d take us to go ice skating. Or, to the state fair or to the movies. He always just wanted to spend quality time with us, and that carried over when I started playing sports.

My dad was a really good hooper when he was younger. He played at Ole Miss and Hawaii Pacific, so that’s how I got into it. I wore No. 33 back then because that was his number.

He was basically my sideline coach growing up. At my basketball games, sometimes he would come right after work, still in his UPS uniform standing by the door or up in the stands, cheering me on and giving me little tips. I didn’t know what was coming or how one day it would all change so fast. Maybe I would’ve appreciated it more.

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I’ll never forget the night it happened.

I was in eighth grade, and my mom was picking me, my brother and my sister up from my grandma’s house after work. After we got home, I took a shower. When I got out, I could just hear my mom on the phone in shock, just yelling, “What’s going on? What’s going on? Who is this calling from my husband’s phone?” When the call ended, she just looked at us and said, “Hey, your dad just got into an accident by 76 gas station.” It was, like, two minutes from our house. My cousin came to pick us up and take us back to my grandma’s house, while my mom went to be with my dad.

All of us were shocked and scared. I just remember that night, we weren’t really hearing anything when my mom was at the hospital with him. It was one of those nights when you don’t sleep, and you just don’t know what to think. When we did find out what happened, that’s when it became real. It was the same drive home my dad made every night, but this time, a truck driver didn’t see him and slammed right into him.

We definitely prayed a lot, and I remember the first surgery he had was on his heart. That was the first major surgery of many, and after that was when I got to see him for the first time since the accident. He was in a coma, and he had all of these tubes hooked up to him.

That accident broke basically every bone. We’d go to visit him, like, once a week, and each time, we’d just talk to him — even if he couldn’t say anything back. It was like that for six months. I thank God that he woke up, because nothing could prepare you for the waiting.

When he was out, it was like our life was in limbo. We stayed at my grandma’s house a lot because we still had to go to school while my mom tried her best to keep everything together. My first couple basketball games were hard because I’d find myself staring off to where I’d normally see him. During the middle of the game, I’d look to find my dad, and not seeing him there was weird.

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I didn’t know if it would be permanent. I prayed that it wouldn’t.

When he finally woke up, it was the biggest relief and the biggest blessing.

We were able to come into his hospital room, and just seeing my dad responsive … our prayers were definitely answered. Six months is a long time to not know if he’s gonna wake up — or if he’s gonna die. Even when he did wake up, you wondered if things would ever be the same, and one night during a visit, my dad told me that it wouldn’t.

He had me hang back while everyone else left the room. Then he looked at me, his oldest son, and told me man-to-man, “You gotta be the man of the house now, and you gotta step up.”

Obviously as a 13-year-old, that’s a lot of pressure … but I owned it. I wanted to pave a way for my little brother, and I didn’t want to be an extra burden on my sister and, especially, my mom. She was already juggling so much.

So, I took on that role. I did more around the house, like cutting the grass and making sure my brother and I got our homework done.

It was such a big change for all of us, but the biggest change was for him. Imagine going from being the provider to the one who always needed help. We’d help him get up and down the stairs, get to the bathroom, get in and out of his wheelchair, whatever. Everything shifted for everyone, especially my mom. She went from being a wife and mom to also being a caretaker.

But I feel like all of us as a unit did our part, including him.

Honestly, I’ve never told my dad how proud I am of him, but I am. I always am. I’m most proud of the man he’s become after the accident.

A lot of people would’ve given up, you know? But it felt like when he woke up from being in a coma, it was God’s way of giving him a second chance at life — and he’s not wasting it. A lot changed about him, but a lot didn’t. He’s always embraced life and made the little moments matter, like when he used to take us to Ice Palace.

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Now I’m starting to see that those aren’t really little moments at all, but reminders to cherish what you have.

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t big moments, though, like getting my first football scholarship offer from Washington State. It was on my mom’s birthday actually. They were like, “Hey, DeForest, I just wanted to let you know we’re offering you a full ride.” That’s when it really sunk in, and it felt like I could take care of my family one day if I stayed focused. Growing up, I played basketball because of my dad, but in Hawaii, the main sport is football. When I saw I had a future in it, that meant everything; it meant even more to have my dad witness it all.

He was there when I committed to Oregon. He was there when I played in the national championship game. He was there when I got drafted. And he was there when I played in Super Bowl LIV with the 49ers.

Sometimes during the offseason, when I’m back home in Hawaii, we’ll talk about it. He always asks me, “Do you still love it?” Just checking to see how I’m doing mentally. He’ll say, “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t love it. It’s OK to walk away if your heart is not in it.”

But my heart is still in it. So, he and my mom will be at a couple Colts games this year, just like they have every year.

As cool as it is to have my dad see me live out my dream, it’s even cooler to see him be a granddad. I have two sons, and my brother, who lives with him, has a couple kids. You can just see how present he is with his grandchildren and how invested he is, which makes me really happy to see.

I’m grateful he has these moments, because when the accident happened, there were six months when you wondered if he’d get the chance. At 13 years old, you can’t even see that far in front of you. Sometimes I think about it like, “What if this didn’t happen? How different would it be?” With my dad being such a good basketball player, I wanted to beat him in one-on-one growing up. I wanted to see how I stacked up.

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There were so many things that the accident took from us, but we gained a lot from it, too. I think we gained a greater appreciation for every breath and for every day. We gained a better understanding of what it means to be a family, no matter what happens.

If I could send a message to my dad for Father’s Day, I would just say thank you for everything you taught me, and thank you for everything you’re still teaching me. I know everything that you’ve done in your life, you’ve done it out of love for your kids and your family, and I know it wasn’t easy.

You’re the best dad I could’ve ever asked for — and nothing could ever change that.

(Illustration: Eamonn Dalton / The Athletic; photos courtesy of DeForest Buckner and Michael Owens / Getty Images)

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